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Fri 6th May '11

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1. In no way am I encouraging the process of thinking. These writings are purely hypothetical and for the purposes of entertainment only. I take no responsibility for anything that happens to anyone as a result of thinking. It is a scientifically proven FACT that thinking causes cancer. The more you think, the more likely you will experience stress, and stress is what causes cancer. Any of the ideas expressed in the following writings may change without notice at any time.
2. Most of these were written over 10 years ago. From now on, I'll date them as I go

"You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because
         he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth."
::: Morpheus :::

or put another way....

"All your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into outline, it's like being ambushed by a grotesque. "

::: Guildenstern in "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead" (1990) :::

I think about 'things' all the time. I am a gemini. Geminis are the thinkers of the zodiac. I think mostly when I am alone. I think whilst taking a dump, while walking home at 2am, while trying to get to sleep and when the traffic lights are red (which is not very often these days, since my jedi-powers are getting to the stage where I can easily turn a red light into a green light). Anyway, I think about all sorts of things. Some of which are actually useful and constructive!

Keep in mind that all subjects without a date were pre 2002, so they might be a but 'out-dated'

I rarely read the newspaper so maybe that's why I find what I'm reading in this Sunday's paper so weird...

On the cover is a story about a beautiful 22 year old who died after being warned about sitting on a balcony rail and falling. I don't get this. I've sat on balcony edges and talked to people about it. I don't understand why someone who's not confident they are safe, would do this...Unless you have your legs locked around the rails somehow, why would you risk it?

The next story I read was about a father who was taken by a shark in Western Australia, where I used to swim, surf and snorkel. It's well known that you shouldn't be in the water around sunrise or sunset. (He was snorkelling early in the morning)
I'm not saying this story is weird but it is a rare even in WA. It happens, just relatively, not that often.

I briefly gloss over yet another story about the highly publicised cricket celebrity who repeatedly cheated on his ex-wife - they are apparently getting back together. My my boggles how anyone can care and why this keeps getting publicity. Instead of the man being shamed out of all lime-light and his career, he continues to be treated as a celebrity. The guy is a dickhead and I wish he wouldn't get money from his fame. It seems to me that all too often criminals and dickheads attract fame and make money out of it. Morons supporting morons. It makes me sick.

The next story I read was about 35 'bouncers' facing charges in the crackdown on security licensing. (This has been going on because of the number of fatal assaults by bouncers)

Next, title; "Boy, 4, dies in tractor accident". I just don't understand how a 4 year-old even gets to be in a position to be run over by a tractor...

The next short story I read is about a 60 year old man who was hospitalised by teenagers who bashed him. I simply can't believe how often this happens! Every time I hear or read the news some old man or old woman is bashed. I can understand the motivation for most crimes. Bashing someone who can't defend themselves is something I'll never really understand. Makes me angry.

The next (this is one of a couple of stories I actually liked) short story is how our Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, saved a baby Tawny Frogmouth which had fallen out of it's nest. Good on ya mate.

The next story I read really pisses me off. It's entitled, 'Military steal to buy drugs'. Basically our military gives two thirds of all it's staff credit cards to buy fuel and pay for travel expenses. That, in itself, is outrageously excessive! That is my tax dollars ($80M a year). The next thing that's outrageous is that there's no accountability for these cards! It works on a "system of trust"! The result?; 220 reported cases of fraud. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth which are going to pay for these clowns' debts, drugs and gambling. So far 40 personnel have been convicted.

The next story I saw, was one about Caroline Kennedy's senate hopes - (not really interested), followed by a story about how well Barrack Obama is going, which I am glad to read.

'The Human fat Mobile'. Here's where things start going weird. Dr Alan Bittner allegedly turns human fat, taken from liposuction, into diesel to power his car.
Weird as it is, I love the idea. Unfortunately (and absurdly) it's illegal, in the US, to use human medical waste to power vehicles (how did they come up with this lay?!).

Incidentally on the same page is a colour photo of a baby aardvark. Yep, it's weird. Another smile on my face. This has got to be one of the cutest things I have ever seen.

Pakistan and India are sending masses of troops to their boarders and upsetting everyone concerned...

Title; "Santa's Slaughter toll grows". Ok, so here's a guy (Bruce Pardo) dressed as Santa who goes to a party at his former in-laws', knocks on the door, shoots the 8 year old girl who answers the door in the face, storms in and and sprays the 25 guests with bullets, sets fire to the house and then kills himself.
Picture Santa shooting everyone in the room.... Weird.

AGING    Aug 2008 TO TOP
Turning 30 (or thereabouts) was really the first time, in my life, that I realised that I am actually mortal. I will, one day, die......
I'm not kidding.
I'm not sure what exactly I thought before this awful realisation.
Maybe I just never stopped to actually think about it...
Maybe, if it entered my mind, I'd brush 'it' off with a thought about how pointless it was thinking soooo far ahead.
Maybe I believed that by the time I past my late 70s, science would have conquered the aging machanism and I would be able to choose when 'my time' comes....
Anywhoo, this is not actually what i was thinking about today.
I was thinking about thinking.
I always believed that the older I got, the wiser I would become.
I thought that the older I got the easier life-thinking and decision-making would become.
I thought I would know myself better each and every year.
Learning more about the world, experiencing more and thinking more, should naturally make everything that goes on between my ears easier....
Well, it ain't so!
I have no dea how this is for other people, but I find THINKING-thinking (the tough stuff, not basics like how long it will take to buy a new car on my current budget) no easier than say, 10 years ago....
In faaaaact.....
I'd say a lot of THINKING-thinking is more difficult now than when I was younger.
Maybe I'll elaborate and explore later - for now, I can't be bothered thinking about it anymore.

This is probably, although I don't make any promises, one of the 'useful' ones to think about. Life, I think, is very unusual, not unlike the people, you see wondering around at 3am on a Saturday night. Life too, is unusual and unpredictable. Just when you think you have figured out 'the rules' they change and do a complete 180 on you! It is unusual that good things happen to bad people and that bad things happen to good people... I think about that a lot. It's also unusual that we are all so very different...People who are sexually attracted to FAT members of the opposite sex, the Dugong, Hare Krishnas, F-Orbitals (I'm told), mating habits of the blind, blunt-nosed wombat.....All these things are unusual... Life is wonderful and unfair... I wonder if you can indeed learn enough about it to begin to 'bend' the rules in your favour. My friend Raz, calls this 'fucking with the universe'. I call it Jedi mind-tricks. Some would just call it the power of thought. Do we have the power to change our life and destiny? I think about this.

NO, no sexist jokes, and no drivel, so don't start rolling your eyes. Ok, STOP rolling your eyes upwards!!!! I'm male, hence I think about women. Why? Apart from the obvious - that women are wonderfull creatures to think and dream about, they are very interesting. Women smell nice. I think about this sometimes. I'm not talking about perfume either, I've thought about that already. Women have a 'way' about them that can completely entrance most men. I think about this too. What is this strange power that women have? The power to make men do things that they wouldn't ordinarily do. Women are also very ilogical. Spock would get a headache trying to understand the human woman. I'm not saying women are ilogical all the time. THAT would make the life of the logical male much easier. It would be a constant, and we can deal with constants... Like the weather, we can deal with the fact that it changes every day because that's it's 'nature'. BUT... a woman will behave in an 'apparently' constant way until we 'men' think we 'understand'....It's right about the time that we think we have some sense of understanding of the female species, that 'they' CHANGE. Something irrational or ilogical happens.. go figure. I think about that.

It was bound to be one of the topics of "Thinking". Aren't you proud of me that it wasn't the first on the list?! Yes, I admit it. It's true. Men DO actually think about sex 90% of the time. I think about this. I believe it is instinct. We were MADE that way. It's to do with nature and procreation. We have millions of sperm and basically were designed to impregnate as many women as we possibly can. Don't get mad at me, this is what they teach at Uni. I think a lot of guys 'just think about sex'; sex they have had, sex they are having and sex they want to have. I, however, think about a lot more than that. I have thought about whether or not sex has a 'power'. Sex causes a lot of problems, sex is a drive and sex makes some people fall in love. Sex is a big part of life. The act is supposed to be sacred.... there are a lot of reasons why I suspect that sex has a magic or 'power' to it. I also think about sex and 'making love'. Some people know only one way. Some have no concept of 'making love', others have never believed in sex and only ever have it when love is involved. I think about this I think about the 'Manogamy Denial'. A great movie to watch (guys, DO NOT watch this with your girlfriend!) is "Denial". Basically the 'Manogamy Denial' is pretty much what it sounds like. The way society imposes the rule of manogamy on us. 'Denial' because many people doubt that being manogamous is 'natural'. Looking at nature definately does not suggest that manogamy is prevalent. Looking at the 'design' of the male body is also inconsistant with the manogamy ideal. More superficially, we can simply look at relationships and see that everyone has cheated. It's a tough one..A definate cancer-causer. I, myself, have a problem with manogamy. This is not because I don't respect any one person with whom I am having a relationship with. Just as I find one person to love whole-heartedly, I can find 3 others. I can't help it. Just because I am with one wonderful and sexy person, doesn't mean I won't meet and be attracted to another one! At the same time, I truly believe, that when I meet someone who 'tops all of 'em' I will be more than happy not to stray... I think think think about this

By 'curiosities', I mean 'little' things, insignificant things, that aren't important or life-altering; I can tell when my cat is thinking. He sits there with his head tilted to the side and thinks. (I hope it won't give him cancer...). Well, I think about what he is thinking. I wonder what people are thinking too sometimes. I wonder if germs get germs, if birds can get scared of heights, What happens if you get scared half-to-death, TWICE?, What color does a smurf turn when you choke it? Would cannibals not eat clowns because they taste funny? If 'horrific' is something horrible then why isn't terrific something terrible?....and I wonder; Do androids dream of electric sheep?

"My Future"     TO TOP
I'm sure some people don't think much about their future. I do. I often think about what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. Since I am now what I hope is only a short time away from being a millionaire, I think a lot about 'how' I am going to spend my millions. I know that I won't WORK, as such. Sure I may indulge in a bit of business, but I will never again 'clock in' for a nine to five day of labour. As soon as I recieve my millions, I will buy myself a better car, probably a Lotus Elise. I'll also have to get a more practical car, most likely a Jeep. Another immediate spenditure would be buying all my friends something really good. Mum and Dad of course, will be top of the list for gifts. I think I would buy a house or flat or cabin at my favourite holiday destination. Most likely near an awsome surfing spot. Within my first week of becomming a millionaire...well actually, "multi-millionaire", I will buy an aircraft. Probably a Cessna 310. Seeing as I have never owned a decent home entertainment system, I'd get a huge TV, a VCR, stereo and of course a PlayStation or something alike. I'd buy a new computer every year or so... 'Things' aside, I also think about what I will DO. Travel is an obvious one. I would travel lots. I'd go to Africa and see Kruger National Park again, I'd go to Europe...everywhere...yes, I'd go everywhere. I do think I'd get bored doing all the stuff that most people come up with if someone asks them what they'd do if they won the lottery. I think about this too. What will I do when I begin to get bored? As much as I think I couldn't get bored of traveling, flying, surfing etc etc, I do think of what I'd do to keep from getting bored. I guess I'd run a business or work on some kind of project. If you are wondering why I believe I will be a multi-millionaire, it's because a friend and I have come up with an awsome idea/invention. It is very simple and will very likely be wortha fortune if it works the way we expect it to.

We are WEIRD! Let's face it, people are about as weird as weird can get. 'Weird' is interesting, and so I find myself thinking about people. The way people act, the way they communicate and the way they interelate. I've always been thinking about 'what makes people tick'. WHY people behave the way they do. Why people act differently to what they are actually like, why people have problems, how they deal with them, what makes a person attractive, why people are SO different from one another. Examples: Don't you think it's weird how 'self-conscious' people can be? You can walk up to a complete stranger and stick your hand out at him/her and MOST likely they will shake your hand. Yes, somewhat perplexed, but non the less, they shake your hand even though they have no idea who you are! Why? Because they feel under pressure, they are scared to embarrass themsleves because they are self-conscious or insecure. It's funny. Or try waving to a passing car. They will usually wave back for the same reason...'Oh don't want to embarrass myself by showing I don't remember that person, who obviously remembers me'. How about when you accidentally bump into someone or cross paths...Why do we say 'Sorry'? I mean are you REALLY 'sorry ?! No, you don't know them, you didn't do it on purpose, so you are not sorry. "Oops" or "excuse me", I can understand, it's polite. We are really a scared lot. Always worried about what other people will think... I think about that a lot. Another thing along the same lines that amuses me to no end is 'looks'. People love to look at other people. Curiosity, appreciation, interest or even contempt. But the funny thing is, most of the time we try not to get 'caught' looking! Weird. Everyone does it. I don't mind when people look at me... I have great fun with this. I look at people and don't hide it. Or I make sure I catch them looking at me and act acordingly. I'ts fun. "IDEALS" I think about ideals all the time. What brought on this particular mention of ideals is the evening I had. 6:30am and I just got home from being out at a club with some friends. My friend, David, is getting married. This brought about all sorts of discussion from myself and the others. I guess in a way, we were all reflecting our past and current experiences on him...poor sod. There he is, about to embark on one of the major-league events in life, and we are scaring the shit out of him! As I said, I think about 'ideals' a lot. I have a lot of ideals. The thing I am thinking about at the moment, is the ideal person. Does such a person exist. If you say 'yes', then would it ring true. Would this 'ideal' person still be ideal after you get to know them intimately? Further more, would this ideal person still be ideal months and years down the track? Hmmm... As much thought as I have given it, I still don't know. In my old age I have become a little bitter I guess. I remeber talking to my friends over coffees, I was saying that I have never been in a relationship where everything was 50/50. You know you each give as much as you get? Well it's true. I have never had that. I have always been giving more. So I says: "Marriage could work if you met someone just like yourself, someone who has the same ideals/beliefs". This is probably true... I'm going to sleep now, but I'll probably expand on this...

Uhmm... No, not in a vain or egomanic way... I think about my self in a reflective way. Who am I? Who was I previously? Do others see mee the way I see myself? There's no way I could possibly explain how much I think or how deep my thinking goes, but here's an example: I often wonder what is wrong with me... - This is your cue to laugh - Ok... finished?...... Right. Ok.. you can stop laughing now! Seriously, I look at my life and see the things I have done... I compare this with what I expected to have doen by this particular stage of my life...and it's not the same... I wonder why I don't achieve my goals... Probably because I keep making new goals..... I also wonder why I don't take care of myself...Why I am irresponsible with myself...Why I still smoke.. Perhaps I don't love myself enough? I also think about my spiritual evolution... I worry that I have slowed down more now than ever before. I hope I haven't made any backward steps... This must be serious 'cancer-thinking' Oh well.

Here's a good one: To begin, lets lay down some accepted premiss' (A) The universe is INFINITE. (B) Since the universe is infinite, anything and everything MUST exist. (else it wouldn't be infinite - duh.) Since we know everything and anything must exist, 'Absolute Nothingness' must also exist. Here's where we have a 'problem', with our finite, human way of thinking, this is impossible/inconceivable since Infinity and Absolute Nothingness cancel each other out. Or so we think. How can both co-exist??? If you have Infinity (everything) then you certainly can't have Absolute Nothingness, and vice versa. This bothered my friend, Raz, and I for quite some time. We knew that Infinity AND Absolute Nothingness MUST both be true to satisfy our first premise (The universe is Infinite), but couldn't explain HOW? EASY The problem with our thinking was; TIME If you 'destroy' time,(take it out of the equation), then both CAN be true. In an infinate universe time is irrelevent. Without time, Absolute Nothingness and Infinity (Absolutely Everything), BOTH ... ARE ! .... The light of a torch can be both on and off, if time is NOT considered. Bravo! We will accept our Nobel Prize now... thanks.

For the last 3+ years I have been doing away with expectations. Expectations (in general) are stupid things. How can we EXPECT ANYTHING?! Can you REALLY expect tomorrow to happen? If you can, then are you so clever as to know WHAT to expect? Can you really expect people to be or do what YOU want them to? No.... - What the hell am I on about? - I am 'on about' the 'folly' in expecting things of the world and the people in it! Ok, take a simple example; With the possible exception of some very 'enlightened' souls, we all have expectations of the people that we have relationships with. We may 'expect' our friends to understand us, our lovers to please us, our teachers to provide good learning, our parents to love us and nurture us, the world to be fair (or unfair), life to be happy (or harsh)....etc... Whatever our expectations are - THEY ARE UNFAIR! Yes, 'unfair'! Unfair to ourselves and unfair to those we have expectations of. Think about it without the influence of so called social 'norms'. What is the logic or sense in expecting, let's say a friend, to be with you in your darkest hour? (1) You will be VERY dissapointed if they are NOT (2) You are weakening yourself by USING your expectations (and your friend) as a crutch or security blanket. (3) To varying degrees you are taking away the gift of 'giving' from your friend.(If it is expected then you are not as greatful for their understanding and support than if you don't expect anything from them) (4) Over and over again, you are setting yourself up for pain. No one will ever live up to all our expectations. If you really want to, you can find plenty of grief if you choose to have epectations of the people around you. By expexcting things of the people around you, you are putting pressure on them. This is hardly fair! (5) The things or people you have expectations of may not even be there tomorrow! The 'flip-side' of 'expectations' is that when people around you (or the world) DO bring you happiness and joy you are VERY pleasently surprised and TRULY appreciative! By true appreciation, you are giving people the gratitude they deserve (rather than a more selfish 'thankyou, but this is what I expect of you anyway"). Beware you do not misunderstand my stance. I am not saying that we would benefit in being cold, nor in expecting the worst, or any other negative 'view' on people or the world. All I am suggesting is a REALISTIC nuetral approach, where you accept and love the world and the people in it for what and who they are. When they are bad, you don't cry beacuse you expected them to be good. When they are good, you are happy, since you didn't expect that either! Some of the 'dearest' to my heart have a hard time with this (which is not surprising since we are conditioned to have expectations from toddler-hood!). I wish I could share my experience and liberation, the freedom of shedding expecatations with everyone. So follows an example: You have planned a 'night out'. You expect it to be good. You have saved money, you got ready to party, you planned where to go, and you have pre-conceived expectations of the nice people you will meet and how 'nice' they will be to you. Wow... imagine the number of things that could RUIN your whole night! A simple circumstancial mishap on the way there, a rude doorman, not meeting anyone nice, a rude patron, losing your money, not being able to get in where you want, etc etc etc... If all goes well, you are satisfied... (note, 'satisfied', not over-joyed or ecstatic). Same night, but you go out without any pre-conceived expectations. You go right ahead and plan where you go, even spare a minute for a 'wish'...But you also know that anything may happen. When someone is rude to you or something goes wrong you shrug it off, you are not dissapointed because you KNOW 'these things happen' and you adjust accordingly. Most likely even with several 'boo-boos' you will still have a great night, beacuse you had an open mind!!! Low and behold if you have a great time or meet someone who you enjoy, you will not be 'just satisfied' you will feel very happy.. perhaps even blessed! So fellow souls - Wake up and smell the coffee! Don't set yourself up expecting it to be good or bad!

Thoughts during a very rough patch -
Ways you know that things can't get any worse:

1. You wash a friend's car, just for something to do
2. You talk to people you don't even like.
3. You wonder if you could 'live off the land'.
4. You actually went to a public park to sleep in it.
5. You walk past a house in the burbs and envy how well the pet cat there lives.
6. You begin thinking of ways to rob a bank.
7. Deciding between a packet of cigarettes and a meal is a major dilema.
8. You've had the longest hour of your life, the longest day AND the longest week.
9. You are prepared to ask your ex, ex-boss for a loan.
10. Hitch-hiking across the entire continent seems like a good idea.
11. You would trade a non-vital body part for an airfare.
12. You have slept in a park, a car, a caravan, 2 couches, and ex-girlfirend's place and an office in the same week.
13. You begin asking God for favours.
14. You begin cursing God for not delivering.
15. Cafe staff automatically give you cancelled orders.
16. You have been wearing the same clothes for many days.
17. You keep kicking yourself about bridges you happily torched in better days.
18. You live out of a backpack.
19. You now consider a shower a luxury.
20. Talking to strange old men is oddly pleasant.
21. People you remember as 'flatmates from Hell', suddenly don't seem that bad at all.
22. Small animals, like pidgeons, begin to look like snacks.
23. You wonder about things like; if a company would give you money to tatoo their logo on your body.
24. People have given you money because they feel bad for you.
25. You wonder if it's possible to stow away on an aircraft.
26. To pass the time, you make lists like this one!
27. You actually wish you knew a loan-shark.
28. You find yourself checking pockets you know are empty, 'just incase'...
29. Breakfast is a cigarette and someone else's coffee.
30. You have no idea where you'll be sleeping tonight.
31. If you had a beautiful girl ask you for sex, you'd reply; "It'll cost you".
32. You would ask a beautiful girl for sex, but you'd only be interested in her bed.
- lost notes -
62. You've always suspected that boredom sucks but now you could write an essay on just how hard it does in fact suck.
63. You try to figure out what terrible thing you must have done in a past life to deserve this.
64. Sleeping in a park has now graduated to 'a damn fine idea'.
65. "If only" is one of the most frequent begginings of your thoughts
66. Seeing beautiful women make eyes at you on a Friday night is painful. (You have nothing to offer)
67. You see a girl with a great arse and you wonder if it's edible.
68. You are wearing 3 shirts and still feel cold.
69. When no matter how many times you try, you can simply NOT see this situation as a challenge.
70. When a parking meter is your financial superior.
71. You start asking yourself whether or not, you would eventually kill for food or shelter.
72. You are quite willing to stay somewhere where there's a person who completely resents your presence.
73. You know, you will never again take things for granted.
74. You quite abruptly find out who your true friends are.
75. You feel qualified to write a book entitled 'Resource Management'.
76. You unexpectedly find yourself on an hour-long train ride.

This episode of thinking happened when a lovely man who I used to work for had (for the 4th or 5th week running) NOT paid me my wages, I had been evicted and was due in Perth for Niko's wedding. Note: I am STILL owed approximately $2600 in wages by this character. (Steve Sanderson).

Being Morbid    TO TOP
What the hell is it with us, yes I generalise to include most people in this, that makes us morbid?! Why do we enjoy watching something gruesome? Why do we flock in the thousands to watch the latest war movie? - even these days (2002)...
Why do people stop to watch at a traffic accident, a personal injury or a street fight? Is it simply because it's out of the ordinary and thus curious (because it's something we don't often see), or is there more to it?
Similarily, why are so many of us drawn to the 'dark side'? I know I am.... but I don't know why...
I don't know what got me thinking about this, but I've definately thought about it before. I mentioned war movies before, but besides war movies, a LOT of movies feature what a civilised society would call negative, as the ideal or as cool or to be desired. A hero who is rough, unrefined, violent and/or otherwise. How many times is the central character (our hero) a criminal?...

It's been suggested, by a friend, that the reason we stop to watch a traffic accident where someone(s) has been injured is partly because we are relieved(that it's not us - and thus feel fortunate) and partly out of empathy. Along those lines, I guess it's also to get closure, that is wanting to know the person will be alright after all.... wouldn't want to go home thinking the person might be dead or still suffering...
But this doesn't explain why we choose a violent or depressing film over a Robin Williams flick....
Why have I always liked fighting? Why am I self-destructive?....
Later I might come up with some answers, but till then...Meh....

some day in Sept....
Addition to 'Expectations'    TO TOP
          It seems that 'no' expectations is a bit much to ask for, in the human condition...at least that is if I am human.....really thought I could stick to and live by my golden rule 'to have no expectations', until tonight brought all that to a crushing stand-still... having been let-down for the ump-teenth time (by friends), I finally snapped...snapped to what? To not caring about anything? who knows... too drunk to decide, but one thing is for certain.... you really can decide who is meaningful to you in times where the close-people let you down....even if you don't like who that 'who' is......
or... meh.....

It was Plato (he might have got the idea from his teacher, Socrates) who suggested that people are not evil and they don't do bad things because they are evil.
Plato explained that he believes people are not motivated by evil to commit evil acts. Instead they are motivated by self-gratification.
No matter how 'bad' we consider a person's actions, Plato was sure that even the worst actions are the motivated by a desire to help themselves.
I agree with this 99.9%. Which is to say that it makes the most sense to me and I cannot find ANY reason to dispute the idea.
No matter how may examples you run through your mind, when you try to explain the motivation behind the 'evil' act, it always relates to some form of self-gratification (to gain something, to feel better, out of desire to relieve... or whatever) not 'evil' itself..

I've pondered this idea for many years, but I write it down now because recently I brought the idea up with someone at my work who was dead-set against the idea. I don't think he understood it properly, but non-the-less, I want other people to consider the idea too. Why? Well at the very least; because it's interesting. At most, well it could help people world-wide (thinking of all the global problems between peoples in the world) understand mankind better and thus help to solve differences. It's part of the nature of manind. We are selfish. But not evil, I think. These so called evil-people are simply selfish people (concerned with their selfish needs) who are doing the wrong thing through ignorance.

God's Intentions    TO TOP
I read a letter to the Editor (The West Australian) recently where a woman was expressing her sadness at yet another terrorsit attack. What got me annoyed was her ridiculous assumption (which one would think even she should have picked up, as soon as she wrote it)!

She writes: "I don't think this is what God had planned when He created man."

<- Is she saying then, God can make mistakes???! What is God to her then? My understanding of what people call 'God' is that God is a supreme perfect being - not capable of making errors. What this lady blatantly over-looks is the OBVIOUS!- God even, as described in her Christian bible, gave mankind FREEDOM of choice! In doing so, we are capable of making mistakes! Furthermore, I think Mrs Jensen is mistaken to think that God intended something other than what is going on! As bad as things get 'down here' (on earth), there is a lot of good too. Without the bad things we would not learn much at all. So I'm saying that not only would 'God' have forseen these terrorsit attacks, but (and perhaps a bit more controversially), I believe they are 'intended' (to use her word), so that mankind can LEARN!

Demons    TO TOP
No, I'm not thinking about mythical creatures of another world. I'm thinking of the demons we carry around inside us. Or some of us do anyway.
What got me thinking about this was something I read in Harvey Keitel's autobiography(unauthorised). Harvey Keitel is a man who has lived with demons most of his life, it's what makes him so good at playing dark or tortured characters. He quotes a verse from the bible which reads; "If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth what is whithin you, what is within you will destroy you" (Gospel of Thomas). It's the 'destroy you' part that got me thinking...
I have long been aware of my demons. Ever since I left my ex-wife I have had little monsters crawling around trying to make me miserable. Things like feeling self-doubt, guilt, anger repression and so on. The thing is; I didn't take them seriously. Ever. I figured, for starters, they are only small demons, so they can't do me much harm. Secondly, they would take more effort to remove than would be worthwhile.
I was wrong. So very wrong in fact. It is now over 7 years since 'they' first appeared and I am still being effected by 'them'. Actually it's gotten worse, because now a host of 'side-effects' have begun to surface. Things like stress. It wasn't until I read what Harvey Keitel was saying, that I realised...fuck....they will destroy me if I don't face them and bring them out.
And that is all. Hopefully the first step in many, till finally I am rid of all past demons.

'Empathic Failure'    TO TOP
It's ironic that I, who can relate to just about anyone and just about anyone's feelings, would get accused of having 'Empathic Failure'!
None the less this was said to me by a very dear friend (who's a psychologist) after I laughed my ass off at something she said about her family. I'm only writing about it here because I think 'Empathic Failure' is a funny idea, and a funny thing to accuse someone of having! I laughed even harder when she said 'Empathic Failure'! tee hee hee hee!

Having Kids    TO TOP
I think most people SHOULDN'T have children.

Apart from the horrible ammount (25%) that get abused and apart from the cop-out: 'state of the world', there are many other reasons why I believe only very few people ought to have kids...

I question people's motives.
     How many people have children for SELFISH or the WRONG reasons?...
(1) Want to carry on their family name
(2) Want little images of themselves running around
(3) Want to re-live childhood through kids
(4) Want kids as source of own enjoyment
(5) Want/fear/need someone to look after them when they are older
(6) Pa/maternal INSTINCT...<--what?, are we ANIMALS that are slaves to our primal instincts?!!
(7) Social expectations.....ugh!....
(8) To use as crutches(or a lever) in ailing relationships etc etc etc

     Then there's the list of reasons why couples should think twice for their own ends:
      (Note many couples don't realise these until their kids leave home!!!)
(1) Ridiculous ammount of money it will cost for the next 18-25 years
(2) Stress caused for the next 18-25 years
(3) Many young couples/parents to be don't realise that they will RARELY be appreciated for making huge life-sacrifices.
(4) SACRIFICES... So many sacrifices people don't think about.. Are people thinking BEFORE they 'do it' that they will be sacrificing so many things which they enjoy now???
     LIST of LIKELY areas in their life which will be lost or reduced (Some of the 'SACRIFICES):
(1) Passion in their relationship / sex-life
(2) Time for couple's relationship
(3) Personal time /personal growth (e.g. further eductation)
(4) Energy levels
(5) Lifestyle - no/less luxuries, like holidays, getaways, boats, better homes etc etc
(6) Friendships/social life
(7) Some Career goals will go out the window

If all people who had babies all had them for reasons OTHER than the above and with all the negative points in mind, I think that couples having children would be a rarity and the world would be a better place because the children that ARE born to it are coming from rare people who are really prepared to make a life's-work (like a masterpiece...) of parenting and who would go into parenthood properly prepared.

Want to help? - Join http://vhemt.org/ (The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement)


I feel my basic human rights have been violated.
I recently found out that we are not allowed to make fire at the 'fire pit' that we have always gone to make fire at...
So, I thought to myself today; 'Where can I make fire?'....
The answer is: Nowhere.
In your own back yard on YOUR property? No.
At the beach, safely beside the ocean? No.
Some woods? Not here(Queensland, Australia), not for about 2 years (fire ban in place)....
MAKING fire is important to me!
Fire is how we humans evolved, fire was (is) and essential part of who we are!
Everyone on Earth should be able to make a fire!
We have enjoyed this ability for thousands and thousands of years!
For food, for warmth, for power, for protection and for beauty and fun!
Damn it!

(gone to toilet to think)

btw:   please do not e-mail me to tell me about spelling mistakes.
       I am aware that my spelling is not as good as my thinking.



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