be adding funny stuff from top to bottom. I.e. The latest
funnies will be up here, the
oldest, at the bottom of the page.
Funny site which will show you your favourite movies in 30 seconds, animated with bunnies as the main characters - HILARIOUS! : http://www.angryalien.com/
There's a game/challenge here which I heard is given to test would-be fighter pilots - they were expected to last 14 seconds or they didn't make the cut. My personal best is 20 seconds.(Only tried it for about a minute mind you.)
How many seconds can you last? CLICK HERE TO PLAY/START
I was watching "Alien Apocolypse" and this part cracked me up:
For many more just search "Angry German Kid VS"
Hope you had fun
If you're an Alien fan, you'll realise this is funny....
Did you know that Conan was a raver?... (See below)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the
establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50
tons of nerve gas on it.
REAGAN: I forget.
CONSULTING: Deregulation of the
chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the
client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model
(PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences
to align the chicken's people, processes and
technology in support of its overall strategy
within a Program Management framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of
road analysts and best chickens along with
Anderson consultants with deep skills in the
transportation industry to engage in a two-day
itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their
personal knowledge capital, both tacit and
explicit, and to enable them to synergize with
each other in order to achieve the implicit goals
of delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median
processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically based,
industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with
the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.
This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become
JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no
chicken has gone before.
Because of an excess of phlegm in
FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents
the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man
in order to trample him and keep him down.
LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where
all chickens will be free to cross roads without having
their motives called into question.
And God came down from the Heavens, and He
said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the
road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your
own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the
road before you believe it?
M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the
road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the
The point is that the chicken
crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there
SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I
mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What
the heck was this chicken doing walking around all
over the place, anyway?
The fact that you are at all concerned
that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
GATES: I have just released the new Chicken
Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your chequebook.
STONE: The question is not, "Why did the
chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was
crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
Chickens, over great periods of time,
have been naturally selected in such a way that
they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Whether the chicken crossed the road or
the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon
your frame of reference.
Asking this question denies your own
WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross
the road ... it transcended it.
HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
SANDERS: I missed one?
: I did not, and I repeat, I did
not have sexual relations with the chicken.
BUSH: What's a chicken?
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR"
Doctors office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES"
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
> "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE
On an Athi River Highway - the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi.
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS
On a poster at Kencom:
"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."
In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND ON WEEKENDS."
In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT
THEIR OWN GRAVES."
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING
BEHAVIOURS IN BED."
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE
DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE
OPPOSITE SEX IN
THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON
HAVING A GOOD TIME."
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head
and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're
having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger
man to laugh at that man.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a
stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning
fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's